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Thread: ODD, UNIQUE, BIZARRE....SEXUAL PRACTICES! (warning graphic)

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    Senior Member Array watdog's Avatar
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    ODD, UNIQUE, BIZARRE....SEXUAL PRACTICES! (warning graphic)

    worked as a clinical social worker in the joint for quite sometime. was asked to see an inmate on an emergent basis (not self refered but cop referred). a midget walks into my office and so i ask him was'sup. he says he believes that cooking top ramen in semen will stop him from getting aids and he has been in general population begging come to cook with. this is the no shit truth. it gets crazier but i will hold off on the fucked up part. so boys and girls whats the shit youve heard/seen/done/read? one preferred rule...dont make shit up. truth is weirder than fiction any day. cool? cool

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    Blah! Blah! Blah! Array kenkannif's Avatar
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    What's top ramen mate???


    Riddle me this brother can you handle it
    Your style to my style you can't hold a candle to it
    Equinox symmetry and the balance is right
    Smokin' and drinkin' on a Tuesday night
    It's not how you play the game it's how you win it
    I cheat and steal and sin and I'm a cynic



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    Senior Member Array watdog's Avatar
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    noodles you buy for cheap and cook with a little packet of seasoning. chickens the best. minus the come.

    Posted after 2 minutes 41 seconds:

    big tough tatted out teamster (union member in the usa. jimmy hoffas union for you old timers) wants to talk. states he hates vaginal, oral, or anal sex. can only get off by fucking women in the arm pit. wonders if he is normal.

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    Quote Originally Posted by kenkannif
    What's top ramen mate???


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    Senior Member Array dongintheklong's Avatar
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    It's like Mama.

    I never worked as a social worker so I haven't any weird stories to tell. Unless you count astral travel.
    banging the gong...

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    Senior Member Array watdog's Avatar
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    a group of boys in a juvenile farm lockup are milking cows. a bet is offered that nobdy would be willing to fuck the milking machine. one kid says he'll do it and sticks is dick into the suction teat holder deal while another kid flips the switch. a loud piercing scream is heard from the victim hysterically yelling, 'turn it off, turn it off, tour it off!!!!!'

    Posted after 6 minutes 17 seconds:

    27 views of this thread and 6 posta with 3 of them by me. maybe this is to fucked up.

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    I think its more a matter of nobody being able to come close to topping "midgets eating cum soup". :chug:
    An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile - hoping it will eat him last.
    -Sir Winston Churchill

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    Senior Member Array watdog's Avatar
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    started out to big, uh? well, come on give it a go. whats the weirdest stuff youve seen/heard/done/whatever?

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    Space Cowboy Array aging one's Avatar
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    Yup you win by knockout JV.
    Too long in Exile, too long not singing my song.
    Too long like a rolling stone, Too long in exile
    Too long in Exile, baby you just arent my friend.
    Too long in Exile my friend, Baby you can never go home again.

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    stāj wən pro·gen·i·tor Array IsaanAlex's Avatar
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    Worked in a series of Psych wards in my last semester of Uni. Giving legal rights advice to the patients.

    And constantly saw people covered in their own piss, shit, blood, puke, etc.

    Got mundane after awhile.

    There were some interesting people though;

    One guy who would talk to you for about a minute and then stop and repeat the exact same thing; like he'd never met you before in his life. A human goldfish.

    Another guy that was apparently normal until he got into a bad car accident and had a serious brain injury. Then he turned into a rapist. And would get thrown into the forensics jail. And then let out to the regular psych hospital where he'd rape (other patients) again. Like a merry-g-round.

    And he'd walk around saying "I'm not a criminal, I'm brain-injured..."

    Another guy who slashed his wife and a nurse in a hospital but says he didn't remember doing it. [And some of these people were so mental I beleived them].

    Another lady whose ex-husband was a cop and hated cops. She was pretty 'extreme' in her views.

    An Indian guy who hated white people to the extent that CSIS got his file because the doctors were afraid he was set to kill a white cop.

    The people in the 'Water Ward' who couldn't be around water or they'd drink it to the point of drunkeness (or sickness or death) if you let them.

    yada yada

    And then there were just some of the people I knew.

    Gawd.

    IA

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    Quote Originally Posted by aging one
    Yup you win by knockout JV.
    No AO, midget cum soup is all watdog, the closest I can "come"(no pun intended) is one of my mates girlfriend having him cum in donuts before he would go on a trip because she said she wanted to taste him while he was gone.

    Personally I think it was her way of "milking" him before he left in the hope that it would help him keep it in his pants.

    Dont know if she actually ever ate one, but she confirmed that she did indeed ask him to do it. Showed me the box sitting in the fridge too, thats as close a look as I cared to take.

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    Senior Member Array russellsimpson's Avatar
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    The worst thing I ever experienced was in an institution for criminally handicapped back in Canada. ( this being a reference to mentally handicapped individual who also committed criminal activities).

    Anyway, just to clarify...I wasn't an inmate but rather worked there in an educational related program.

    In any case there is this one hulking fellow who was completely unpredictable, had to be in restraints (wrap around coats) when around others and couldn't be allowed to have any object that might be used as a weapon.....ever. he was fed.

    In any case, his mother was living in the area and would visit and on one occassion a not well experienced guard decided it would be a nice gesture to let a this guy, temporarily non- restrained, to just walk the lenght of the hallway with his mom. Always within view.

    Anyway to cut to the chase here, there was a bottled pop machine half way down the hall, bolted to the floor. When passing the machine this guy was able to grap one of those ragged edged pop bottle tops from the machine and proceed to gough both his mothers eyes out before he could be restrained.

    I was there shortly after the incident. Of course a big investigation.

    I experience an awfull lot in that place, but that one will always stay with me. :smile:
    When being run out of town, get in front of the crowd and make it appear like a parade.

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    Senior Member Array watdog's Avatar
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    had a patient whose mo was to stand behind women at bus stops andvery quietly masterbate into their hair and then try to act all cool like 'ya, i saw the guy he ran thatta way'. needless to say his story coulnt stand the bs test let alone lab testing. we called him cream rinse. odd guy. saw him once working in a restauant after he got out. suddenly lost my appitite.

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    Space Cowboy Array aging one's Avatar
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    Thanks JV, chasing kids, posting, and cooking at the same time can often lead to dumbness.

    Thanks for waking me up! :chug:

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    Wannabe Guru Array theent01's Avatar
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    well, not so bizzare, but definitely a bit humiliating, but I was robbed by two hookers in prague after a threesome, not like at gunpoint, they just took money when I wasn't looking (I was young and dumb, well, younger and dumber than I am now). I ended up chasing after them with an ice pick, sadly they got away.

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